Okay so I'm horrible at this blogging thing. Where has the time gone!?!? It's already August, Max is 14 months old tomorrow, he's almost walking, and he's still so darn cute! He's an awesome baby - sleeps through the night and takes his naps. We have truly been blessed.
Heading to the cabin this weekend without the little stinker :-) Love him, but need some adult time! Can't wait to spend some time with the hubby and our good friends, Melissa and Derek, and of course Bre. Should be a fun weekend!
Stay cool!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Friday, November 5, 2010
Finally the weekend...
Although this week did seem to go by fast, it seems as though the weekend was out of my reach! This week has been exhausting, although I'm not sure why.
Wednesday we went to Michelle and Brian's house to visit her and Christian. Christian and Max were roommates in the NICU and Michelle and I had such similar pregnancies and deliveries it was crazy. We have kept in touch ever since and love hanging out with them. We put Max and Christian in front of each other and Max about smiled his little face off. He LOVED Christian. Christian stared at Max like "who are you and what are you doing here." LOL It was pretty funny. Then we got a video of them talking to each other, which I will attach to this when I get home. Max was VERY interested in Christian - always intently staring at him.
We were on the run all evening Wednesday with errands, Michelle and Brian's, and then home at 9. Last night Max went down around 8 and I was not far behind him.
Overall it's been a great week. Look forward to Daylight Savings this weekend. Don't forget to turn your clocks back!
Wednesday we went to Michelle and Brian's house to visit her and Christian. Christian and Max were roommates in the NICU and Michelle and I had such similar pregnancies and deliveries it was crazy. We have kept in touch ever since and love hanging out with them. We put Max and Christian in front of each other and Max about smiled his little face off. He LOVED Christian. Christian stared at Max like "who are you and what are you doing here." LOL It was pretty funny. Then we got a video of them talking to each other, which I will attach to this when I get home. Max was VERY interested in Christian - always intently staring at him.
We were on the run all evening Wednesday with errands, Michelle and Brian's, and then home at 9. Last night Max went down around 8 and I was not far behind him.
Overall it's been a great week. Look forward to Daylight Savings this weekend. Don't forget to turn your clocks back!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Halloween 2010
Had lots of fun with Bill, Jessica, and Bre the night before. We went and saw Saw VII. Better than the last. We came home and carved pumpkins. I forgot how much fun that is!
Other than that, our weekend was pretty uneventful.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Meeting Maxwell Stephen...
Sobbing, I peered up to see a tiny little body lying still. The first thing I noticed was his hair. The nurses made it into a little mohawk. He had so much hair. The nurse took him out of the isolette and laid him in my arms. I fell apart. This little person is ours. Him and I made it through with a wonderful husband/daddy by our side.
After what seemed like only a second, but lasted at least a half hour, I had to go back up to my room and leave my little boy behind. While I knew he was in the best hands, I wanted to take him with me. Why couldn't I have him in my room like most moms? I knew the answer, but hated reality.
I finally moved from the ICU to postpartum around 4:00 that evening. I went down again to see my little boy later, but again, couldn't stay long as I needed to heal.
Saturday, June 5th: I woke up in the middle of the night with a fever of 101. I was drenched in sweat and freezing cold. They didn't think it was too serious and it went away. But it came back that night and with severe chills. I had another fever of 104.2 degrees. I was burning up but felt so incredibly cold. They started doing labs. Thinking it was Pneumonia, they sent me downstairs for a chest x-ray. Those came back negative.
Sunday, June 6th: Still horrible fevers and chills about every 4 hours. It became difficult for me to even go downstairs to see Max. They thought my infection was in my incision, so they sent me down for an CAT scan. Again, negative. They decide to do a blood culture to see what's going on. Problem is, those take at least 24 hours, so they put me on two different antibiotics in hopes that will get rid of whatever infection I have.
Monday, June 7th: Fevers and chills continue. I couldn't leave the hospital until I was without a fever for at least 24 hours. At this point I am frustrated. I can't have Max in the room with me because he isn't eating from a bottle so he has to be tube fed in the NICU, and it's hard for me to get down there between fevers and chills. At this point I have told Chris to go home and sleep - there's nothing he can do. He slept there a couple nights to keep me company. Blood culture came back inconclusive, so they do another one. I have had so much blood drawn and so many IVs in different places that they have completely run out of places to poke. The head lab person had to come in to take it from a vein that usually isn't used. The doctor is telling me I'm a medical mystery because they can't find the infection anywhere and the antibiotics aren't working.
Tuesday, June 8th: Still on antibiotics and still experiencing the fevers and chills. I'm so frustrated and I'm an emotional wreck. I just want to go home. But do I? We don't get to bring Max home until he is eating from a bottle only. The doctor comes in and says I have a little heart murmur, so they do an echo cardiogram on me. On a happy note - HOT doctor maneuvering electrodes around my boobs = awkward! The test came back negative as well. I was perfectly healthy except for this stupid infection. Come to find out, it was streptococcus that was infecting my blood, which is why they had a hard time finding it. The strain of streptococcus that I had was immune to the antibiotics I was on, which is why none of them were working. FINALLY on the right antibiotics, the doctor said I should be going home soon. Unfortunately, the antibiotics took 24 hours to work.
Wednesday, June 9th: It's been 2 weeks since I first came to the hospital. I was still having slight fevers as the antibiotics were starting to work, but they finally ended in the early afternoon. Now I had to stay for another 24 hours to be sure the fever was done.
Thursday, June 10th: I get to go home! It was bittersweet really. We had to leave Max at the hospital. The nurses had become family - all very sweet. I was sad to leave them as well.
The next two weeks were long and depressing. Max was slowly eating more each day, but still very much dependent on the tube feeding his second week in the NICU. Come the third week he was really starting to get the hang of it and doing much better! Leaving him there every night was the most difficult thing I have ever done in my life. I just wanted him home. His crib was ready but very empty without him in it. The house was just too quiet.
Thursday, June 24th: Max finally came home! After a long 4 weeks in the hospital between the both of us, the three of us were finally home...for good.
Needless to say, every part of our story was worth it. It is still very difficult for me reflecting back on the ordeals we went through to get here. However, we were blessed with the most beautiful little boy I could have ever imagined. He's happy, healthy, and downright sweet.
I'll never have a baby naturally (the risks are too high), and that saddens me. I think about it almost every day. But I have such an amazing foundation, and that is my family. Chris is my rock. He keeps me strong and keeps me going. Our families are so supportive and Max certainly has so much love. I look at him and all my worries disappear. The twinkle in his eye when he smiles melts my heart.
Now almost 5 months old, he has changed our life in such an amazing way. God was really looking over us those 4 weeks and we couldn't be more grateful.
Should have started this sooner
Blogging has been a 21st century hit that we never got into. Time always seems to be an issue. I look at things now and realize I need to take some time to myself. A 5 month old baby made us realize how much we enjoy our time alone. Max is wonderful and I would spend all my time with him if I could. I wouldn't trade him for the world. But to stay sane, we need moments of alone time. While it seems cliche to say that life completely changes when you have a baby, you don't really understand what those words mean until it actually happens. I must say we are lucky. He is an extremely easy baby. But getting to this point was not as easy as we thought. I think I may have started this blog in hopes it will be therapeutic, because the events leading up to his birth and the aftermath were not easy. Nevertheless, we are blessed.
I think about those weeks leading up to Max's birth and the weeks after he came into this world more frequently than many realize. I haven't talked about it much because I don't think I ever wanted to relive them. I would talk about bits and pieces here and there, but I've never really talked about the events in their entirety. Honestly, I've been too scared. This past week it hit me. Maybe PMS brought it on...who knows. But I knew this day would come. The day where I look back and truly realize the danger I was in, the danger Max was in, and the things that I missed out on because of it.
28 Weeks: Like any expectant mother, I had my gestational diabetes test. Negative.
32 weeks: Baby was measuring bigger than he should be. Doc decided to have me take the gestational diabetes test again. Positive. Horribly positive. It was a complete 180 from my last test. My legs started to swell as many pregnant women experience, and I was becoming uncomfortable.
33 Weeks 5 days (May 27th): I attend my gestational diabetes class at the Oxboro clinic in Bloomington. I wasn't feeling right. Something was wrong. I managed to pull through the class, but still was not feeling right. My blood pressure had been 140-150/80 at my last appointment, so not too terribly high, but they were keeping an eye on it. I have NEVER had high blood pressure in my life. Just off a hunch, I asked the lady to take my blood pressure. 174/90. Shit. Needless to say she sent me straight upstairs to the clinic where my doctor was. The fit me into his schedule immediately. He barely got in the room and said "I'm sending you to the hospital." What?! "You are severely pre-eclamptic and we need to keep you on bed rest." I had already been on bedrest for the previous two weeks, but apparently didn't realize how serious this was.
Dr. Beard wouldn't let me drive. I called Chris balling. I was scared. Terrified. All I could do was cry. Chris picked me up from the clinic and we made our way to the hospital. They kept me overnight for observation.
33 Weeks 6 days (May 28th): The next day they advised me the baby is fine, but my health was deteriorating. I was spilling proteins at 10+ and you're not supposed to spill more than a trace. I begged them to let me go home for the night. After much discussion, they said I could, but they first gave me a betamethasone shot to help develope the baby's lungs faster. They advised me to come back tomorrow morning to receive the second one.
34 Weeks (May 29th): Back to the hospital at 11 am for my second Betamethasone shot. With both my Mom and Chris at my side, I was told I wasn't leaving the hospital. In fact, I was staying until the baby was born. Had an ultrasound to see what is going on with baby. He's fine, but they wanted to do a bio scan or something like that to be sure. Everything turned out normal. The neonatologist from the NICU comes to our room. At this point, I'm not sure what to think. He tells us about the major risks with a pre-term baby, including, but not limited to, not breathing on his own, multiple organ failures, including his heart, and the worst: death. I've never heard such heart wrenching words in my life. I've carried this baby for 34 weeks and I'm not about to lose him now. The neonatologist left the room, Chris walked to my bedside, wrapped me in his arms, and we both fell apart.
34 Weeks 1 Day (May 30th): I was informed they were going to start induction that night. With a dose of cervidil overnight, they would start the pitocin the next morning.
34 Weeks 2 Days (May 31st - Memorial Day): My blood pressure was still up so they started me on a saline IV and put me on a Magnesium Sulfate drip. Because my blood pressure was so high, I was at risk for a having a stroke and/or seizures. The Mag Sulfate helps prevent this from happening. Pitocin started right at 10 am and after 8 hours, I still wasn't contracting. Unfortunately, Pitocin and Mag Sulfate counteract each other and anyone who has been on it before will tell you it's not pleasent. They decide to hold off on more cervidil and pitocin to see what happens.
34 Weeks 4 Days (June 2): 2-3 Centimeters dialated in the morning so they inserted another cervidil that night . It was extremely painful because it causes all the tissue to be extremely sensitive. They do an ultrasound to make sure the baby's head is down. According to my blood tests, my platelets were dropping, so they advise me that if I want an epidural, they need to insert the catheter now before my platelets get too low and I'm unable to clot. It certainly was uncomfortable, especially because I had a tube taped up my back to my shoulder.
34 Weeks 5 Days (June 3rd): Pitocin all day, but no progression. 9:45 pm: Dr. Beard comes into my room and states that I am progressing too slowly and the only cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery. So after a week in the hospital, I'm heading to the operating room. I vaguelly remember Chris getting into scrubs and me being rolled down.
10:00 pm: I'm in the OR being prepped for surgery. Chris is not yet with me. They get me positioned and start giving me the meds through my epidural catheter. I start to feel my legs get warm. Not long after, Chris walks in and sits by my head, holding my hand. I don't think I was coherent enough to be scared. The next thing I remember was screaming. Not the baby. Me. The anaesthesiologist tried giving me some kind of gas to help calm me down, but then they realized I was feeling everything.
June 4th 12:50am: I woke up in the ICU. They had to completely knock me out. The nurses are still working on me, and without going into details, causing much pain. What an unpleasent feeling. Mom had gone home to sleep and Chris was in the room with me. I don't remember much, just waking up and seeing the clock read 10 to 1.
6:00 am: I slowly wake up and look to my right. My wonderful husband is snoring away in one of those folding hospital chairs. A nurse comes in asking if I'm ok. I haven't been awake long enough to assess that. I'm alive, so yeah, I'm ok. But I haven't even seen my son yet and he was born 7 and a half hours ago. That's when I looked to my left and there was a picture of him taped on my bed rail. Eyes open, looking around. Tears fell down my cheek. My little baby boy was here. Chris proceeded to tell me he's in the NICU and doing very well. He's still sluggish from the Mag Sulfate and the gestational diabetes, and he has an IV for antibiotics in case of infection. I wasn't quite able to get out of bed and see him yet, but soon. I got out of bed to eat breakfast around 7:30 and continued to rest.
I get to this point in the story and start sobbing. While I knew I was ok and he was ok, I hate that I didn't get to see him when he was first born. I didn't get to hold him, kiss him, cuddle him. He's been separated from me for the last 12 hours. I would soon get to meet that precious little boy in the picture.
I think about those weeks leading up to Max's birth and the weeks after he came into this world more frequently than many realize. I haven't talked about it much because I don't think I ever wanted to relive them. I would talk about bits and pieces here and there, but I've never really talked about the events in their entirety. Honestly, I've been too scared. This past week it hit me. Maybe PMS brought it on...who knows. But I knew this day would come. The day where I look back and truly realize the danger I was in, the danger Max was in, and the things that I missed out on because of it.
28 Weeks: Like any expectant mother, I had my gestational diabetes test. Negative.
32 weeks: Baby was measuring bigger than he should be. Doc decided to have me take the gestational diabetes test again. Positive. Horribly positive. It was a complete 180 from my last test. My legs started to swell as many pregnant women experience, and I was becoming uncomfortable.
33 Weeks 5 days (May 27th): I attend my gestational diabetes class at the Oxboro clinic in Bloomington. I wasn't feeling right. Something was wrong. I managed to pull through the class, but still was not feeling right. My blood pressure had been 140-150/80 at my last appointment, so not too terribly high, but they were keeping an eye on it. I have NEVER had high blood pressure in my life. Just off a hunch, I asked the lady to take my blood pressure. 174/90. Shit. Needless to say she sent me straight upstairs to the clinic where my doctor was. The fit me into his schedule immediately. He barely got in the room and said "I'm sending you to the hospital." What?! "You are severely pre-eclamptic and we need to keep you on bed rest." I had already been on bedrest for the previous two weeks, but apparently didn't realize how serious this was.
Dr. Beard wouldn't let me drive. I called Chris balling. I was scared. Terrified. All I could do was cry. Chris picked me up from the clinic and we made our way to the hospital. They kept me overnight for observation.
33 Weeks 6 days (May 28th): The next day they advised me the baby is fine, but my health was deteriorating. I was spilling proteins at 10+ and you're not supposed to spill more than a trace. I begged them to let me go home for the night. After much discussion, they said I could, but they first gave me a betamethasone shot to help develope the baby's lungs faster. They advised me to come back tomorrow morning to receive the second one.
34 Weeks (May 29th): Back to the hospital at 11 am for my second Betamethasone shot. With both my Mom and Chris at my side, I was told I wasn't leaving the hospital. In fact, I was staying until the baby was born. Had an ultrasound to see what is going on with baby. He's fine, but they wanted to do a bio scan or something like that to be sure. Everything turned out normal. The neonatologist from the NICU comes to our room. At this point, I'm not sure what to think. He tells us about the major risks with a pre-term baby, including, but not limited to, not breathing on his own, multiple organ failures, including his heart, and the worst: death. I've never heard such heart wrenching words in my life. I've carried this baby for 34 weeks and I'm not about to lose him now. The neonatologist left the room, Chris walked to my bedside, wrapped me in his arms, and we both fell apart.
34 Weeks 1 Day (May 30th): I was informed they were going to start induction that night. With a dose of cervidil overnight, they would start the pitocin the next morning.
34 Weeks 2 Days (May 31st - Memorial Day): My blood pressure was still up so they started me on a saline IV and put me on a Magnesium Sulfate drip. Because my blood pressure was so high, I was at risk for a having a stroke and/or seizures. The Mag Sulfate helps prevent this from happening. Pitocin started right at 10 am and after 8 hours, I still wasn't contracting. Unfortunately, Pitocin and Mag Sulfate counteract each other and anyone who has been on it before will tell you it's not pleasent. They decide to hold off on more cervidil and pitocin to see what happens.
34 Weeks 4 Days (June 2): 2-3 Centimeters dialated in the morning so they inserted another cervidil that night . It was extremely painful because it causes all the tissue to be extremely sensitive. They do an ultrasound to make sure the baby's head is down. According to my blood tests, my platelets were dropping, so they advise me that if I want an epidural, they need to insert the catheter now before my platelets get too low and I'm unable to clot. It certainly was uncomfortable, especially because I had a tube taped up my back to my shoulder.
34 Weeks 5 Days (June 3rd): Pitocin all day, but no progression. 9:45 pm: Dr. Beard comes into my room and states that I am progressing too slowly and the only cure for pre-eclampsia is delivery. So after a week in the hospital, I'm heading to the operating room. I vaguelly remember Chris getting into scrubs and me being rolled down.
10:00 pm: I'm in the OR being prepped for surgery. Chris is not yet with me. They get me positioned and start giving me the meds through my epidural catheter. I start to feel my legs get warm. Not long after, Chris walks in and sits by my head, holding my hand. I don't think I was coherent enough to be scared. The next thing I remember was screaming. Not the baby. Me. The anaesthesiologist tried giving me some kind of gas to help calm me down, but then they realized I was feeling everything.
June 4th 12:50am: I woke up in the ICU. They had to completely knock me out. The nurses are still working on me, and without going into details, causing much pain. What an unpleasent feeling. Mom had gone home to sleep and Chris was in the room with me. I don't remember much, just waking up and seeing the clock read 10 to 1.
6:00 am: I slowly wake up and look to my right. My wonderful husband is snoring away in one of those folding hospital chairs. A nurse comes in asking if I'm ok. I haven't been awake long enough to assess that. I'm alive, so yeah, I'm ok. But I haven't even seen my son yet and he was born 7 and a half hours ago. That's when I looked to my left and there was a picture of him taped on my bed rail. Eyes open, looking around. Tears fell down my cheek. My little baby boy was here. Chris proceeded to tell me he's in the NICU and doing very well. He's still sluggish from the Mag Sulfate and the gestational diabetes, and he has an IV for antibiotics in case of infection. I wasn't quite able to get out of bed and see him yet, but soon. I got out of bed to eat breakfast around 7:30 and continued to rest.
I get to this point in the story and start sobbing. While I knew I was ok and he was ok, I hate that I didn't get to see him when he was first born. I didn't get to hold him, kiss him, cuddle him. He's been separated from me for the last 12 hours. I would soon get to meet that precious little boy in the picture.
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